Who said they had to be 52 weeks in a row, right?
- The cool air, clear light and the soft buzz of the wind on my morning bike commute.
- Seeing the San Francisco skyline at night as I drive down from Twin Peaks
- The smell of slowly roasting tomatoes, thyme and balsamic vinegar for tomorrow’s lentil lunch.
I don’t pretend to be all high and mighty and shun the television. We have basic cable and I enjoy my fair share of crappy so-called reality train wrecks and the culturally-acceptable Downton Abbey. I usually wind down in front of the screen and disengage with the world. It’s like a mind clutch.
After dinner I was relaxing on the couch with a lump of dog on my chest. After exhausting my phone’s social (media) validation, I was about to use the remote and see what was on. For whatever reason, a tiny “no” rang in my head. No. No, I won’t feel better after watching mindless tv. No, I won’t sleep better. No, I won’t feel more rested by “relaxing” on the couch.
So, I’m going to step away from this tiny screen and stick my nose into a book. It’s like a bicycle for your brain—no helmet required.
So another day and another missed posting. I realize I’m only trying to show myself that I can type into a box once every twenty-four hours (which is a different goal than writing). All of yesterday felt off.
It started with a four a.m. dog walk for a suddenly not well puppy. (I’ve deleted the details.) She slept through last night very well, but the day was full of worry, out-of-character personality, and enough bodily fluids to consider whether taking her to the ER was wiser than waiting until today. (We opted for today. She does not appear to be in any discomfort.) I know I am abnormally attached to my dogs, but I understand life is finite and unexpected things can happen. This seems like a passing thing, or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
The second not typical thing about yesterday was my working from home and a work field trip to Stitches West. I was showing a knitting newbie the overwhelming-ness of a trade show cum massive yarny pop-up in Santa Clara. It was great to see Kristine and Adrienne (and mom Michelle) from A Verb For Keeping Warm. Of course I hung out (always too briefly) with Debbi at the BMFA booth (my stomping ground for a year). And I got to meet Jeanne and Julie from CreativeBug and hear how the sock knitting flash mob we put on was included in their investor presentations. It’s impossible to do a quick drive-by at Stitches, but we had to rush back to the City because work email and network servers were going to be shut off at 4pm. So much for working from home through the night.
Discombobulated is a better description of me and time yesterday. The unsettled anxiety about a four-legged friend haunted me. The rampant consumerism combined with the joyful gathering of kindred spirits is dizzying. (I could write at length on my ethical conflicts of stash hoarding.) The ever-present stress of work and the whispering (oft-neglected) call of personal passion projects tore me from being present.
There’s no easy fix, but I can’t help but think this could be helped with a simple scamper. I’ve fallen completely off my training plan for the past two weeks, save last Saturday. It’s more fuel for my head’s nagging negative fire. (See, you still can’t train properly! You’re lazy.) An hour or two pounding myself out of my brain and into my body could be a step toward the grounding that was missing yesterday.
But now it’s Saturday. An new day. A vet visit. A return to Stitches for after-hours communion with a few friends. And maybe a run.
“As if broken bones hurt more than the names we got called, and we got called them all…”
Thank you, Shane Koyczan.
The day switched into tomorrow without a moment set aside to type. A pet peeve of mine is complaining about not writing, yet it seems to be a crutch of late. My whole schedule needs to be reconsidered. I come home too late and too grumpy from the office that all I have room for is some leftover pizza and Dance Moms. Runs have been skipped for at least two weeks. Knitting wasn’t touched for days on end. Rut would be an understatement, but I’m in it.
Planning something with steeks in the near future. Wish me luck.
It’s been one of those days (and weekends) that you wished would never end. Plenty still to do, but plenty got done. Today’s car trip up to Pt. Reyes reminded me of how breath-taking Northern California can be. Cooking dinner tonight and the week’s-worth of lunches showed me just how tasty it is too.
I chose not to scamper today. I was supposed to do 18 miles. After skipping last week’s 16, I really could have used the three-hours on my feet. It’s all investment in the mileage bank to pay off at the end of April. True to form, I’ve never shown up to a race overtrained.
Trying to be at peace with this choice. I enjoyed the yummy breakfast I had with Sonya. I am happy I could knit a bit and watch some TV. I find it freeing that we got grocery shopping and laundry done, so tomorrow’s day off can be super relaxing.
Will I curse this skipped run on marathon day? Nope. I’ll show up at the start with the training I have completed. Plus, the experience of a chill weekend. You can’t cram for a marathon. It is what it is.
But next week…