Out of synch
So another day and another missed posting. I realize I’m only trying to show myself that I can type into a box once every twenty-four hours (which is a different goal than writing). All of yesterday felt off.
It started with a four a.m. dog walk for a suddenly not well puppy. (I’ve deleted the details.) She slept through last night very well, but the day was full of worry, out-of-character personality, and enough bodily fluids to consider whether taking her to the ER was wiser than waiting until today. (We opted for today. She does not appear to be in any discomfort.) I know I am abnormally attached to my dogs, but I understand life is finite and unexpected things can happen. This seems like a passing thing, or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
The second not typical thing about yesterday was my working from home and a work field trip to Stitches West. I was showing a knitting newbie the overwhelming-ness of a trade show cum massive yarny pop-up in Santa Clara. It was great to see Kristine and Adrienne (and mom Michelle) from A Verb For Keeping Warm. Of course I hung out (always too briefly) with Debbi at the BMFA booth (my stomping ground for a year). And I got to meet Jeanne and Julie from CreativeBug and hear how the sock knitting flash mob we put on was included in their investor presentations. It’s impossible to do a quick drive-by at Stitches, but we had to rush back to the City because work email and network servers were going to be shut off at 4pm. So much for working from home through the night.
Discombobulated is a better description of me and time yesterday. The unsettled anxiety about a four-legged friend haunted me. The rampant consumerism combined with the joyful gathering of kindred spirits is dizzying. (I could write at length on my ethical conflicts of stash hoarding.) The ever-present stress of work and the whispering (oft-neglected) call of personal passion projects tore me from being present.
There’s no easy fix, but I can’t help but think this could be helped with a simple scamper. I’ve fallen completely off my training plan for the past two weeks, save last Saturday. It’s more fuel for my head’s nagging negative fire. (See, you still can’t train properly! You’re lazy.) An hour or two pounding myself out of my brain and into my body could be a step toward the grounding that was missing yesterday.
But now it’s Saturday. An new day. A vet visit. A return to Stitches for after-hours communion with a few friends. And maybe a run.